Cohesion Example
The means by which Asian companies have sought to compete with American products in market segments in the Western Pacific region will constitute the objective of the first phase of our study. The labor costs of our Asian competitors and their ability to introduce new products quickly are the main issues to be examined in detail. A plan that will demonstrate how American industry can restructure its operations so that it can better exploit unexpected market opportunities, pariticularly in the Pacific Rim, will be developed from this study.
In the first phase or our study, we will examine market segments in the Western Pacific Region to determine how Asian companies have competed with American products. The study will examine in detail labor costs and the ability of Asian competitors to introduce new products quickly. We will develop from this study a plan that will demonstrate how American industry can restructure its operations so that it can better exploit unexpected market opportunities, particularly in the Pacific Rim.
What's the difference between these two examples? One big difference is that most readers find the first example harder to understand than the second. The reason this is so is that the sentences in the first selection don't connect to each other as well as the sentences in the second version. The sentences in the first version seem to hang there with no really apparent connection holding them together. The second version, by contrast, is structured so that it's easy to see how one sentence connects to the sentence that follows. This easy connection between sentences is what constitutes cohesion.
To make sentences cohesive, start a passage with a sentence that has a clear, readily understood subject, and put the new, complex, harder-to-understand information towards the end of the sentence. In the second sentence, choose a subject that recalls something you said in the previous sentence, so that your sentences appear to link to each other like links in a chain. Repeat this pattern throughout a passage, varying it a bit where you need to make a transition of some kind. By creating this kind of link between sentences, you create a rhythm that will make your readers see your writing as clear.
Williams says that what we see at the beginning of a sentence is the sentence's topic, and what we see at the end of the sentence is emphasis. Effective sentences, then, tend to be structured like this:
Topic+ verb+ emphasis.
Simple -- complex.
Old -- new.
Easy -- difficult.
We see writing as clear when, as we read through a passage, we see closely related topics appear in a series of sentences. If the topics in a passage don't relate closely to each other, we see the passage as incoherent.
from Williams, Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace, 4th ed., Lesson 6, Cohesion.
In the first phase or our study, we will examine market segments in the Western Pacific Region to determine how Asian companies have competed with American products. The study will examine in detail labor costs and the ability of Asian competitors to introduce new products quickly. We will develop from this study a plan that will demonstrate how American industry can restructure its operations so that it can better exploit unexpected market opportunities, particularly in the Pacific Rim.
What's the difference between these two examples? One big difference is that most readers find the first example harder to understand than the second. The reason this is so is that the sentences in the first selection don't connect to each other as well as the sentences in the second version. The sentences in the first version seem to hang there with no really apparent connection holding them together. The second version, by contrast, is structured so that it's easy to see how one sentence connects to the sentence that follows. This easy connection between sentences is what constitutes cohesion.
To make sentences cohesive, start a passage with a sentence that has a clear, readily understood subject, and put the new, complex, harder-to-understand information towards the end of the sentence. In the second sentence, choose a subject that recalls something you said in the previous sentence, so that your sentences appear to link to each other like links in a chain. Repeat this pattern throughout a passage, varying it a bit where you need to make a transition of some kind. By creating this kind of link between sentences, you create a rhythm that will make your readers see your writing as clear.
Williams says that what we see at the beginning of a sentence is the sentence's topic, and what we see at the end of the sentence is emphasis. Effective sentences, then, tend to be structured like this:
Topic+ verb+ emphasis.
Simple -- complex.
Old -- new.
Easy -- difficult.
We see writing as clear when, as we read through a passage, we see closely related topics appear in a series of sentences. If the topics in a passage don't relate closely to each other, we see the passage as incoherent.
from Williams, Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace, 4th ed., Lesson 6, Cohesion.
posted by Michael Saunders at 9:53 AM
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